> In conclusion, feminism will not die with a catastrophic cultural revolution [as much as feminists fetishize books like The Handmaid’s Tail], it will die with a the groaning of old cat-ladies whose ideas of independence and girl power have been rendered entirely irrelevant by economic, technological, and ancient evolutionary forces.
It's time for some Monday morning misogyny before I get to work.
I am a good guy. I have been completely alone and independent (financially, socially, etc) since age 20. I have made a six figure salary for fifteen years now, and have a (pre-covid prices) house's worth of cash in a pile in the bank. It is there, because all I have ever wanted to do is meet a sweet woman, build a home together, raise some kids to be decent human beings, and have a boring wholesome life.
I am now 35 and live alone with a cat. I have been on two dates in the last five years. Every past partner I've had has lied to me, stolen from me, cheated on me, and generally taken advantage of me. I spend probably a thousand bucks a month on various 'put yourself out there' things, everything from going to the coffee shop on a work afternoon, to spending hundreds of dollars on concert tickets. Everywhere I go, there are only two kinds of women: women who are married to guys who they are there with, and women who are massive fuckin' whores and won't give me the time of day because I'm short and stout (strong, not fat; I was fat, now I'm strong), instead of tall and thin.
I have spent the last several years wondering if there's even a point to sticking around on this earth, and I've concluded that no, there is not. I don't want to be alive anymore. And yet, I find joy in the little things, and that's enough to keep me going.
The biggest little thing?
> it will die with a the groaning of old cat-ladies whose ideas of independence and girl power have been rendered entirely irrelevant by economic, technological, and ancient evolutionary forces.
When I'm 50, I'll be rich. I will have an empty, sad life, but I'll be able to do rails of coke off of strippers' giant tits with all the money I didn't spend raising a family. When they're fifty, they'll be sad and miserable. They won't be employed, because employers lose patience with incompetence when it's not hot anymore. They won't be dateable, because nobody wants to _date_ a 50 year old, they want to _have been married for 30 years_ to them. They won't have a family, because they were dumb enough to believe you can still safely have children after 30. They'll be fat, because they never learned to cook (that would've been sexist) and they eat trash. They will die, sad and alone, completely unloved. They'll just croak in their houses, and nobody will notice until their cats have already eaten them.
And when that happens, I'm going to go to their funerals and laugh in their family's faces. You asked for this. You got it, good and hard. Hope you had fun.
And maybe, just maybe, at that time, the pendulum would have swung enough that I can swoop up one of the 24-year-olds on Tiktok who say they just want to be kept women, freed from the burden of work. But for all those womens tik-talk, they're still loading up Tinder on Friday night and fucking random strangers, so I'm not optimistic
That's rough. It's what I've heard the same from a lot of people who are trying to wade through the muck that is the western dating market. Dating foreigners seems to work though. The reason why feminists absolutely despise "passport bro's" is because those bro's have replaced western women for something better. Visit eastern Europe or something. The far east and Philippines or Japan are also popular, but that's its own can of worms among the dissident right. Argentina and Chile are also pretty good options. Women raised in the West are rarely worth the time or effort. Especially by the time they hit 30 due to the brain-rot propaganda. Your best option is to take 3 months off work and go off and dip out for a while.
I wish this was an option for me. At this point I know half a dozen guys who regularly fly to Japan just to date women there.
Unfortunately, I was not born with the hereditary privilege of a US passport, and the frozen shithole I call home (🇨🇦) has become unliveable in my absence. I've spent my entire adult life in the US on a series of temporary, non-immigrant visas, and all of that goes up in smoke if I don't marry a US citizen. All the roots I've put down, friends I've made, communities I've joined (and created). Not to mention the more pragmatic concerns. I have a sizeable 401k and have to pay the penalty fees on that money if I try to move it back into Canada. Fuck me for being responsible and _saving_ money in my 20s instead of blowing it partying like the scumbags who have wives now
Being a passport bro, as much as I wish I could, means permanently sacrificing everything I've built in my life, and having to raise my kids in a country that is rapidly failing, where nobody can afford food or housing, healthcare sucks ass, and the government will arrest me for even so much as CAD files of an AR-15. Plus, I mean, I don't speak Indian so how would I even manage in post-Timmigration Canada?
Nah, I'm doubling down on spite. Time is not on anyone's side, but it's on my side more than theirs. I won't win, but eventually, I'll lose the least. And on that day I am going to be the world's most insufferable prick about it.
Just tell them you're a refugee and you don't remember your name and you'll be given free equivalent-citizenship in the United States! Problem solved!
Realistically... I think that there are a number of remaining options. 1 is to actually get US citizenship first... which you can probably do at this point one way or another. It'll be harder if you're white, but not impossible. If you're willing to drop the AR-15 you can dip to a country friendly to Canada (Japan is nice) and do something similar. Also, if you have children in the United States you can chain-migrate yourself into the US as a family member of a US citizen. So you just need a girl to knock up who also wants to be in the USA. Literally any girl as long as you can make an "anchor-baby" for the both of you to migrate into the US as relatives of a citizen would probably work.
There's absolutely no reason you should restrict yourself to the garbage parading around in microskirts that one finds in American cities.
There are two massive (and to be fair, self-imposed) constraints rendering your suggestion impossible
1) I am never, ever, ever giving up my rifle, because I saw what happened in Covid. I saw what the entire rest of the world did. And I know that the only reason Texas didn't follow suit is because they didn't want 50,000 murdered police officers to deal with. There is nowhere on earth which won't lock me in my house the next time, except the parts on earth where they know we'll kill them if they try
2) If I knock up a chick to make an anchor baby, that locks me out of ever having an actual real relationship with someone I actually care about, and at that point, why am I doing any of this at all?
The proposal for the anchor-baby was for the girl to actually BE some one you had a real relationship with... the point is that if you find a girl you want to spend your life with, and she happens not to be a US citizen, getting her pregnant can be used for chain-migration for you both to become US citizens.
I don't think women are capable of coherent logical reasoning or, if they are, they consistently choose not to.
Some people, when they speak, they say the words they do because those words correlate with reality and they are trying to communicate information to you
Some people, when they speak, they say the words they say because of what responses, reactions, and behaviours they will elicit in listeners.
Women speak almost exclusively in the second mode. If their words correlate with honesty or reality, it's only incidental.
Hot young women going on social media to a quarter million male listeners and saying what those men want to hear? I can't possibly imagine they might have motivations beyond honesty
You're imputing too much self-awareness and craft to women, and indeed most people, who are almost exclusively automatic response machines running their programmed script. Any motives they may be aware of or espouse are almost certainly ex post facto rationalizations.
Especially given this: "And when that happens, I'm going to go to their funerals and laugh in their family's faces. You asked for this. You got it, good and hard. Hope you had fun."
That's not an actual good guy. That's the "I'm a nice guy, where are the rewards that I am owed for being so" guy.
I'm in about the same boat, except I don't bother spending money trying to date and I don't have a cat yet. I'm not sure I'd want to date women even if I could, unless I won the lottery of finding one with a decent personality who somehow wasn't married or a single mom.
Three years in she just up and decided she didn't like me anymore, and since then, she's become the town bicycle in the group of friends she stole from me.
I have not had any meaningful relationships since she walked out of my life in early 2019
Even if you find a good one, good luck making sure they stay good.
I agree with a lot of what you've written here. I was sucked into some aspects of feminism, but always hated the "girl boss" stuff. Sam Vaknin argued that mainstream feminism encourages women to behave like psychopathic men (not healthy ones) and I agree with him.
I was successful in my chosen career (marketing and development for arts events) in my twenties and early thirties, but burned out and quit my full time job in 2019 in large part because of a poor ability to deal with personality disordered people (in particular older women -- hell hath no fury like a narcissistic aging would-be "artist" scorned) and because I was exhausted by "Woke" culture. I had a bunch of contract gigs lined up, but they were cancelled due to Covid. But in 2020, I met and married my husband, and I was pregnant by the end of the year. I JUMPED at the opportunity to become a STAH mother, and fortunately we were able to afford for me to do so.
I love it and have no desire to return to work. I'm pissed that other women tried to convince me that the worst thing in the world was being barefoot and pregnant in a comfortable dress in a kitchen. Audiobooks and podcasts make that kind of thing awesome. I love that not working allows me to sleep in or write or read in the morning (my toddler gets up between 9am-10am) and to cook at home, and spend an entire day doing stuff like making a big batch of pasta sauce using the ancestral receipe and techniques from my Italian side. My neighbourhood has a daily parent and child hangout, which has been a social lifeline and helped me (and my daughter) make friends who live in our new neighbourhood. And then Substack and Discord are my major intellectual outlets. It would be much harder to be a STAH mother without technology, without the option to write and find other people who share my nerdy niche interests, and without the in-person community I'm very lucky to have (my husband and I both have lots of family around as well, which is rare today).
Most of the married-with-kids women who are still working have told me they wish they could afford to quit or could find part-time work instead, or wish they could have taken longer maternity leaves. Many of them are the primary breadwinners in their relationships, however, and it's not an option. A lot of women are waking up to the lies feminism sold us -- but generally speaking, these are women in relationships with good men.
There's another unfortunate aspect to the influx of women into higher education and white-collar workplaces; girls mature faster than boys. This means that girls have a significant cognitive advantage during grade school, which gives us an advantage in college admissions, and then into careers. However, over the course of our 20s, many men start to "catch up" to us. Women's grade school performance often gives a false impression of what their adult capabilities will be (obviously not in all cases, but generally speaking) and we end up in careers we aren't necessarily suited for -- while men who would have succeeded in them are not given the opportunity. Add to this the brain rewiring of motherhood -- I noticed a significant dip in my semantic memory, processing speed, and mental math abilities with motherhood, which would have absolutely affected my performance if I were still at work.
I really appreciate the input. You should subscribe to my substack. I believe your experiences are pretty characteristic of what's happening right now in our culture. It seems like social media is critical to fulfilling the social needs of homemaker mothers. I'd love to continue getting your input on other posts I make.
There's a lot of young men right now that were never really given opportunities or were passed over for more diverse backgrounds. It's done a tremendous amount of damage and will probably be a generation before our society is back on its feet, maybe several generations. I know I've been passed over for not being a diverse enough candidate more than once in my career and it's extremely frustrating. My aim now is to build my own business (and my substack) because it doesn't look like it's possible for a non-diverse individual to make it in this society working for any one else.
I'll check out more of your essays when I have a chance. Hit the "follow" button. I'm interested in this particular topic, but my own writing has focussed far more on the impact on children and early brain development and attachment.
I think it's going to take several generations to heal, because parenting wisdom has been corrupted in the West for *at least* 400 years, probably longer. I think feminism was a natural reaction to the things you outlined in this essay, but also to the corruption of parenting practices, negative attitudes toward childcare and cooking (as being "beneath" high status women), and a shift toward the left hemisphere's ways of processing the world at the expense of the right hemisphere (I'm currently working on an essay on how this seems to increase both misogyny and misandry at a neurological level, while simultaneously pushing "anti-sexism" or androgyny). In the meantime, we're going through an extinction event and a lot of family lines are going to die out.
See (ignore the bad URL, this was one of my first essays and I didn't know I could edit them at the time! The essay is on the dark history of parenting books):
This is actually a subject I'm very interested in. I'll read your articles. I do think that there are long-term psychological/neurological impacts that occur due to the misogyny and and misandry of parents against their own kids. The sons of feminist mothers tend to turn out one of two ways, neither of which is ideal. The demographic collapse we're going through is certainly a biological and cultural bottleneck.
I've subbed to your substack and will read your material when I get the time. I'd be happy to have a formalized discussion on the topics at some point if you're interested (you run a podcast?)... I've got at least one more related article prepped that I'll probably be dropping at some point.
This essay also hit me quite hard. It made a lot of sense once I read it, but I'd bought into the myth that biological fathers were more likely to abuse children than biological mothers ...
Statistically women, abuse more, however when a man comes into the house that is not the father, the children have a 33% more chance to be abused then from the real father. Easy to look up.
Yes, I realize that unrelated men are the biggest risk to children. That's why I specified "biological" mothers and fathers in my comment ... but at the same time, I've read so many stories by people who were abused by stepfathers and their mothers did nothing to protect them :-/
Oof, forgot to respond to this part -- no, I don't have a podcast! I've appeared on other people's (and am open to speaking to pretty much anyone who wants to have an honest conversation), but I'm also about to pop out another kid in early October so right now it's one of those very-soon or in-quite-a-while things. If you start one, I'm open to it, or to just talking and not recording, but I'm probably going to go quiet for a few months after the baby is born lol (I mean, depending on how I feel. Last time was a bit rough, but this pregnancy is going better so maybe I'll bounce back faster).
I'll let you know. I've been WAY too busy to start something like that right now, but I'll keep you posted. We should chat some time. And congratulations on the kid! They're work, but adorable!
I’m doing canning myself but something very important about medicine is Kratom really works well.
Kratom is a powder you can get it’s not very expensive. The green makes you feel happy, the white gives you a caffeine kind of high, and the red is good for pain and sleep
People should definitely hoard some red Kratom. You can keep it forever and it will still work.
Thanks for reading. While I'm not sure how the cultural decay will look in our generation, having alternatives is a good idea. I always enjoyed preserving food in the house rather than bulk-purchasing industrial strength canned goods.
Well done for providing some balance here. My experience also. I fail to see how matching shrill whiny feminist anger with shrill whiny masculine anger however is ever going to solve this. I think this is a North American issue as I work with twenty something British women who are not into feminism AT ALL. Unfortunately this new American misogyny is colouring the internet with hate and is not helping. It will be men who wind up alone in their old age as well as women. We all age. So perhaps we could all work towards helping people balance their expectations ( men’s too) and find one another. Rather than using these platforms to antagonise.
In the real world, I feel like I encounter a lot more anger and misandry from women than anger and misogyny from men, but that's probably at least partially a result of what our culture finds it acceptable for people to express. I'm interested in criticisms of misandry and feminism, but I've been frustrated online at the misogyny and the dismissal of the historic context for feminism that often occurs in these spaces. Western feminism was a reaction to hundreds of years of very real mistreatment of women that started around the time of the Protestant Revolution. And in many countries across the world, it's still very much needed because of how women are oppressed and mistreated. The hard fact is that when power balance is tilted toward men, many men will exploit it to mistreat women, and when power balance is tilted toward women (e.g. "believe all women), many women will exploit it to mistreat men -- and both sexes mistreat children. I'm working on an essay right now that argues that misogyny and misandry come from the same (rough) part of the brain, and that when one is present, the other usually is too (i.e. feminists who are misandristic and usually misogynistic too, and men who are misogynistic also hate or resent masculine men). Hopefully I'll get it out soon.
Humans evolved with a power imbalance towards men. All feminist societies in human history have failed, all patriarchal societies in human history have seen at least a degree of success... there's a reason for that. If something has been working for 2000 years, suddenly changing it is unlikely to lead to societal success.
Male and female power looks very different, and I think a balance between the two is ideal -- however, I think in a society that values both men and women and masculinity and femininity, you'll have far more men in public positions of power than women and that this can be healthy. It really seems to me that most women are happier focussing on raising their children and being at home, perhaps balanced with part-time meaningful work or volunteering, but I'd argue that motherhood is a position of tremendous power and importance ... just in a very different way :-) and, yes, one that's less likely to land you in the history books.
Indulging my annoying habit of commenting while reading, so apologies in advance if the article goes on to make this comment silly
> Women’s empowerment became a trade of slaving away in for your family to slaving away for your boss in the corporate office.
This is hilarious to me, because anyone in 1950 could have seen this coming, if women bothered to ask their opinions. But women live in the lap of privilege and luxury, mistakenly believe that this is their natural entitlement, and scream about injustice whenever the constraints of reality harsh their buzz.
Only a woman could look at a career man in the 1960s, spending 10+ hours a day at the office, scraping by to _give her free money_, and say "wow, it's so unfair that I don't get to do that".
You know they pay you because you _don't_ want to do the work otherwise, right? Ass, Gas, or Grass, nobody rides for free. Well, except 1950s housewives, but apparently you'd rather be poor than bored
Feminists are a bunch of sickos. I knew from the time when I was born. I just wanted to be a mother and wife. The feminist ruined so much of peoples lives, It’s not even funny. I hate going out and competing with men. I don’t even like leaving my house. If I ever had the chance to never leave my house again, I would take it.
Feminism has driven me to unironically hate women. All women. Women collectively as a group as well as women on an individual level. In my entire life, there are only four women I have met who I didn't think were cruel, sadistic, and evil, and who weren't hostile to me.
Two are the exceptions that prove the rule.
One is very gay and you'd mistake her for a dude, so she doesn't count.
One is married, and I assume was insufferably evil until her husband fixed her
It makes me incredibly sad that I have come to this point in life but, well, I am not the one who decided we are locked in a zero sum game where the loser gets a lifetime of slavery and misery, but if those are the parameters, I have no intention of losing.
People tell me there's women who are decent human beings all over the place. Nobody has ever actually introduced me to one. They insist these people exist, but can't seem to point at one. Rly Makes U Think
In my neighborhood, the garbage trucks take out the garbage early in the morning and unfortunately everyone’s garbage pail is still out there at night.
People don’t even get a chance to grab the garbage pail until the nighttime. Never mind getting to know their neighbors. That’s what happened when women stopped staying home. Civilization is crumbling because of this.
Women used to have coffee and get to know each other and the kids would get to know grown-ups they can trust right next-door. That’s how it was in my neighborhood and it was good for everyone.
Now nobody knows their neighbors because their neighbors are too busy . It’s very depressing.
I think feminism will end but it will take another 30-40 years to die off completely. In the meantime, we are inundated with foreign savage invaders and Western women are not having babies...demographics are destiny.
"Its total destruction will likely take another century or two"
Or perhaps not so long: no generation is so invested in feminism as the Boomers, who as First Adopters of this so-called "radical philosophy", reaped most of the limited benefits without the myriad of costs. As the Boomers go boom, feminism loses its largest and often most vocal cohort of proponents.
I saw a Ted talk (I know) about feminism being the result of automatic washing machines. All of the sudden women had way too much time on their hands. Idle hands and all.
I would note one thing. You place a certain amount of blame upon the creation of suburbs in destroying community - and I think that is a bit misplaced. Because there were churches and schools and shops even in the burbs. Working killed it - because it is hard to work full time and do all those things to the extent women may want.
High density living environments are not conducive to kids in US culture. Neighbors can be just as distant behind a condo door, or a townhouse, as in a suburban sprawl. Millennials were the first generation assumed to not want the suburbs. Until all of sudden they did the exact same thing their older boomer and Gen X brethren did. Moved to the burbs for some yard for the kids. I would expect gen Z will follow the exact same path, no matter how delayed it may become.
What is killing feminism is the fact that going to work full time is not glamorous, but viewed as necessary. No fault divorce with limited alimony makes it an imperative to be able to get into the workforce quickly if need be. But covid reminded women exactly how little they were actually getting for all that time spent away, often time to just give it to child care expense and more restaurant meals and taxes. That created a moment, which we are now having, along with new ways through technology to make a buck without tying oneself to an office for 40 hours a week.
If it was_only_ work, then the feminist movement would never have gotten started. Covid certainly accelerated this process, but I think it would have begun anyway. I do think that boredom and loneliness were the primary drivers of women leaving the home, not a need for income. A need for income arose only after the workforce doubled.
I would agree, that the mundane made women want to do more. But the feminist movement packaged it in a way to say lets just copy being men. And so women said sure. There would have been alternative ways to provide that desire to do "more", or there could have been an allowance for doing "more" in different ways. But that would have required the feminists to abandon their greater goal of societal upheaval. It was never about doing what was right by women, but was more about accumulating political power.
Besides entering into the workforce and immediately creating more money chasing of scarce resources, the movement lobbied for and gained popular acceptance for abortion availability at some point in gestation process, much to men's delight. (Men still favor abortion in slightly greater percentages than women do). The acceptance of no-fault divorce, and the hook up culture left women battle scarred and bitter.
Covid then ripped the mask off the joys and benefits of duel income full time working families. It stripped away one of women's most cherished things - the ability to care for your family and raise your children. I do think work was the thing whispered in women's ears. It's not fair you can't become a fireman, doctor, etc, so let's create a political movement about getting you those rights, and then give you the same sexual freedom men possess.
I don't think it will take _more_ than a century to undo modern feminism if one or more of the 'collapses' that threaten occurs. People will need to ban together for survival, and those bands who get bogged down in petty squabbles simply won't survive.
Hey, nice article. Indeed, Feminism will die when the vast majority of women realize that they have traded in the "drudgery" of homemaking for the even worse drudgery of the corporate grind. The former can be profoundly fulfilling while the latter is rarely so. There will always be some girl bosses who will cling to their corporate ambitions, but it's quite satisfying -- and, a little sad, honestly -- to see just how many now understand that they were duped.
One thing's for sure: it's a long, long path ahead to reconciliation between men and women at large. And, the future of the Western world depends on it (especially those of our generation who won't have kids to look after them in their old age).
The times ahead offer both desolation and a hope for rebirth; I, for one, pray we can move past all this nonsense.
Not just boredom, although that’s valid. Betty Friedan basically said so. But that happened within the context of no options. Couldn’t have kids, don’t want to marry? Sorry. Stay home bitch we don’t want you. Either in business or in public life. No, feminists won. Women have options. What we don’t have is respect. This was the other big, big reason for the feminist movement: pretty much everything women did was taken for granted. So you stayed home and raised kids, keeping a decent house and your husband happy? So what. Wanna move the pendulum back? Give cred to femininity and feminine ways of experiencing the world. Make motherhood great again. As an aside, I find it really telling that Martha Stewart built an empire from high end housekeeping at the same time as women were no longer at home. She made womanhood aspirational because who had time for that anymore?
Feminists are the ones condemning housekeeping and motherhood... which in the long term is beneficial. Those who support the apocalyptically bad idea of feminism are the same that are breeding themselves out of existence. Feminism is a self-solving problem, they create women who don't have kids, and men who won't sacrifice for a feminist society. There are no significant matriarchal societies in human history for a reason. Housekeeping should be aspirational for women... and it's becoming so as men are retaking positions of societal authority.
Men and women are different. Mentally, physically and spiritually. Women excel in areas men do not and vice versa. We are interdependent as sexes. Right glove, left glove. It's the only positive thing the whole current "rights" movement is proving: the intellectual dishonesty of all the DIE/ESG/CRT Post Modernist bullshit that spawned it all.
In time the poison of feminism will drain from the body as the old generations die off who grew up not able to see the true repercussions of the toxic ideology leave this mortal coil, leaving behind those who saw it for the truth it was. The same way those who believe in segregation have died out so too will feminism slowly release it's control over the western world as it's strength wanes by death of it's acolytes and adherents drift away with the regret of having once been a part of a grand deception. There should be one standard of merit: the ability to do a job. Those able should reap the benefits of society, as wekk as take the responsibilities incumbent upon those who do. Women are not a fish, and men are not bicycles.
Remember, merit, applied equally to all is the judge. There should not be exceptions to this. Do what you can, where you can, without being hindered or enabled in society.
> In conclusion, feminism will not die with a catastrophic cultural revolution [as much as feminists fetishize books like The Handmaid’s Tail], it will die with a the groaning of old cat-ladies whose ideas of independence and girl power have been rendered entirely irrelevant by economic, technological, and ancient evolutionary forces.
It's time for some Monday morning misogyny before I get to work.
I am a good guy. I have been completely alone and independent (financially, socially, etc) since age 20. I have made a six figure salary for fifteen years now, and have a (pre-covid prices) house's worth of cash in a pile in the bank. It is there, because all I have ever wanted to do is meet a sweet woman, build a home together, raise some kids to be decent human beings, and have a boring wholesome life.
I am now 35 and live alone with a cat. I have been on two dates in the last five years. Every past partner I've had has lied to me, stolen from me, cheated on me, and generally taken advantage of me. I spend probably a thousand bucks a month on various 'put yourself out there' things, everything from going to the coffee shop on a work afternoon, to spending hundreds of dollars on concert tickets. Everywhere I go, there are only two kinds of women: women who are married to guys who they are there with, and women who are massive fuckin' whores and won't give me the time of day because I'm short and stout (strong, not fat; I was fat, now I'm strong), instead of tall and thin.
I have spent the last several years wondering if there's even a point to sticking around on this earth, and I've concluded that no, there is not. I don't want to be alive anymore. And yet, I find joy in the little things, and that's enough to keep me going.
The biggest little thing?
> it will die with a the groaning of old cat-ladies whose ideas of independence and girl power have been rendered entirely irrelevant by economic, technological, and ancient evolutionary forces.
When I'm 50, I'll be rich. I will have an empty, sad life, but I'll be able to do rails of coke off of strippers' giant tits with all the money I didn't spend raising a family. When they're fifty, they'll be sad and miserable. They won't be employed, because employers lose patience with incompetence when it's not hot anymore. They won't be dateable, because nobody wants to _date_ a 50 year old, they want to _have been married for 30 years_ to them. They won't have a family, because they were dumb enough to believe you can still safely have children after 30. They'll be fat, because they never learned to cook (that would've been sexist) and they eat trash. They will die, sad and alone, completely unloved. They'll just croak in their houses, and nobody will notice until their cats have already eaten them.
And when that happens, I'm going to go to their funerals and laugh in their family's faces. You asked for this. You got it, good and hard. Hope you had fun.
And maybe, just maybe, at that time, the pendulum would have swung enough that I can swoop up one of the 24-year-olds on Tiktok who say they just want to be kept women, freed from the burden of work. But for all those womens tik-talk, they're still loading up Tinder on Friday night and fucking random strangers, so I'm not optimistic
That's rough. It's what I've heard the same from a lot of people who are trying to wade through the muck that is the western dating market. Dating foreigners seems to work though. The reason why feminists absolutely despise "passport bro's" is because those bro's have replaced western women for something better. Visit eastern Europe or something. The far east and Philippines or Japan are also popular, but that's its own can of worms among the dissident right. Argentina and Chile are also pretty good options. Women raised in the West are rarely worth the time or effort. Especially by the time they hit 30 due to the brain-rot propaganda. Your best option is to take 3 months off work and go off and dip out for a while.
I wish this was an option for me. At this point I know half a dozen guys who regularly fly to Japan just to date women there.
Unfortunately, I was not born with the hereditary privilege of a US passport, and the frozen shithole I call home (🇨🇦) has become unliveable in my absence. I've spent my entire adult life in the US on a series of temporary, non-immigrant visas, and all of that goes up in smoke if I don't marry a US citizen. All the roots I've put down, friends I've made, communities I've joined (and created). Not to mention the more pragmatic concerns. I have a sizeable 401k and have to pay the penalty fees on that money if I try to move it back into Canada. Fuck me for being responsible and _saving_ money in my 20s instead of blowing it partying like the scumbags who have wives now
Being a passport bro, as much as I wish I could, means permanently sacrificing everything I've built in my life, and having to raise my kids in a country that is rapidly failing, where nobody can afford food or housing, healthcare sucks ass, and the government will arrest me for even so much as CAD files of an AR-15. Plus, I mean, I don't speak Indian so how would I even manage in post-Timmigration Canada?
Nah, I'm doubling down on spite. Time is not on anyone's side, but it's on my side more than theirs. I won't win, but eventually, I'll lose the least. And on that day I am going to be the world's most insufferable prick about it.
Just tell them you're a refugee and you don't remember your name and you'll be given free equivalent-citizenship in the United States! Problem solved!
Realistically... I think that there are a number of remaining options. 1 is to actually get US citizenship first... which you can probably do at this point one way or another. It'll be harder if you're white, but not impossible. If you're willing to drop the AR-15 you can dip to a country friendly to Canada (Japan is nice) and do something similar. Also, if you have children in the United States you can chain-migrate yourself into the US as a family member of a US citizen. So you just need a girl to knock up who also wants to be in the USA. Literally any girl as long as you can make an "anchor-baby" for the both of you to migrate into the US as relatives of a citizen would probably work.
There's absolutely no reason you should restrict yourself to the garbage parading around in microskirts that one finds in American cities.
There are two massive (and to be fair, self-imposed) constraints rendering your suggestion impossible
1) I am never, ever, ever giving up my rifle, because I saw what happened in Covid. I saw what the entire rest of the world did. And I know that the only reason Texas didn't follow suit is because they didn't want 50,000 murdered police officers to deal with. There is nowhere on earth which won't lock me in my house the next time, except the parts on earth where they know we'll kill them if they try
2) If I knock up a chick to make an anchor baby, that locks me out of ever having an actual real relationship with someone I actually care about, and at that point, why am I doing any of this at all?
The proposal for the anchor-baby was for the girl to actually BE some one you had a real relationship with... the point is that if you find a girl you want to spend your life with, and she happens not to be a US citizen, getting her pregnant can be used for chain-migration for you both to become US citizens.
The last 50 years have been a complete nightmare for everyone because of feminism. Children the most. It’s a sick putrid cancer. Make it stop!!!
It will never stop. The only way to make it stop hurting oneself is to stop oneself, _if you understand what I'm saying_.
I've got 6 months of this bullshit world left in me, tops. Then I'm out, forever
As a man your age you really have to look for young women below 25. Since there is less time for them to be snapped as as time would go on.
"But for all those womens tik-talk, they're still loading up Tinder on Friday night and fucking random strangers, so I'm not optimistic"
Always, ALWAYS, ignore what women say and pay attention only to what they do.
If you ever want to hear someone contradict themselves completely in a single sentence, ask a woman the "why" of anything she believes.
I don't think women are capable of coherent logical reasoning or, if they are, they consistently choose not to.
Some people, when they speak, they say the words they do because those words correlate with reality and they are trying to communicate information to you
Some people, when they speak, they say the words they say because of what responses, reactions, and behaviours they will elicit in listeners.
Women speak almost exclusively in the second mode. If their words correlate with honesty or reality, it's only incidental.
Hot young women going on social media to a quarter million male listeners and saying what those men want to hear? I can't possibly imagine they might have motivations beyond honesty
You're imputing too much self-awareness and craft to women, and indeed most people, who are almost exclusively automatic response machines running their programmed script. Any motives they may be aware of or espouse are almost certainly ex post facto rationalizations.
> I am a good guy.
You might want to read this: https://www.drglover.com/no-more-mr-nice-guy/the-book.html
Especially given this: "And when that happens, I'm going to go to their funerals and laugh in their family's faces. You asked for this. You got it, good and hard. Hope you had fun."
That's not an actual good guy. That's the "I'm a nice guy, where are the rewards that I am owed for being so" guy.
He probably isn't a good guy... but he probably was once. We don't exactly live in a culture that encourages good behavior.
I'm in about the same boat, except I don't bother spending money trying to date and I don't have a cat yet. I'm not sure I'd want to date women even if I could, unless I won the lottery of finding one with a decent personality who somehow wasn't married or a single mom.
Go to church
This ⬆️
I found one, once.
Three years in she just up and decided she didn't like me anymore, and since then, she's become the town bicycle in the group of friends she stole from me.
I have not had any meaningful relationships since she walked out of my life in early 2019
Even if you find a good one, good luck making sure they stay good.
I agree with a lot of what you've written here. I was sucked into some aspects of feminism, but always hated the "girl boss" stuff. Sam Vaknin argued that mainstream feminism encourages women to behave like psychopathic men (not healthy ones) and I agree with him.
I was successful in my chosen career (marketing and development for arts events) in my twenties and early thirties, but burned out and quit my full time job in 2019 in large part because of a poor ability to deal with personality disordered people (in particular older women -- hell hath no fury like a narcissistic aging would-be "artist" scorned) and because I was exhausted by "Woke" culture. I had a bunch of contract gigs lined up, but they were cancelled due to Covid. But in 2020, I met and married my husband, and I was pregnant by the end of the year. I JUMPED at the opportunity to become a STAH mother, and fortunately we were able to afford for me to do so.
I love it and have no desire to return to work. I'm pissed that other women tried to convince me that the worst thing in the world was being barefoot and pregnant in a comfortable dress in a kitchen. Audiobooks and podcasts make that kind of thing awesome. I love that not working allows me to sleep in or write or read in the morning (my toddler gets up between 9am-10am) and to cook at home, and spend an entire day doing stuff like making a big batch of pasta sauce using the ancestral receipe and techniques from my Italian side. My neighbourhood has a daily parent and child hangout, which has been a social lifeline and helped me (and my daughter) make friends who live in our new neighbourhood. And then Substack and Discord are my major intellectual outlets. It would be much harder to be a STAH mother without technology, without the option to write and find other people who share my nerdy niche interests, and without the in-person community I'm very lucky to have (my husband and I both have lots of family around as well, which is rare today).
Most of the married-with-kids women who are still working have told me they wish they could afford to quit or could find part-time work instead, or wish they could have taken longer maternity leaves. Many of them are the primary breadwinners in their relationships, however, and it's not an option. A lot of women are waking up to the lies feminism sold us -- but generally speaking, these are women in relationships with good men.
There's another unfortunate aspect to the influx of women into higher education and white-collar workplaces; girls mature faster than boys. This means that girls have a significant cognitive advantage during grade school, which gives us an advantage in college admissions, and then into careers. However, over the course of our 20s, many men start to "catch up" to us. Women's grade school performance often gives a false impression of what their adult capabilities will be (obviously not in all cases, but generally speaking) and we end up in careers we aren't necessarily suited for -- while men who would have succeeded in them are not given the opportunity. Add to this the brain rewiring of motherhood -- I noticed a significant dip in my semantic memory, processing speed, and mental math abilities with motherhood, which would have absolutely affected my performance if I were still at work.
I really appreciate the input. You should subscribe to my substack. I believe your experiences are pretty characteristic of what's happening right now in our culture. It seems like social media is critical to fulfilling the social needs of homemaker mothers. I'd love to continue getting your input on other posts I make.
There's a lot of young men right now that were never really given opportunities or were passed over for more diverse backgrounds. It's done a tremendous amount of damage and will probably be a generation before our society is back on its feet, maybe several generations. I know I've been passed over for not being a diverse enough candidate more than once in my career and it's extremely frustrating. My aim now is to build my own business (and my substack) because it doesn't look like it's possible for a non-diverse individual to make it in this society working for any one else.
I'll check out more of your essays when I have a chance. Hit the "follow" button. I'm interested in this particular topic, but my own writing has focussed far more on the impact on children and early brain development and attachment.
For example:
https://thecassandracomplex.substack.com/p/the-lost-girls-and-boys
I think it's going to take several generations to heal, because parenting wisdom has been corrupted in the West for *at least* 400 years, probably longer. I think feminism was a natural reaction to the things you outlined in this essay, but also to the corruption of parenting practices, negative attitudes toward childcare and cooking (as being "beneath" high status women), and a shift toward the left hemisphere's ways of processing the world at the expense of the right hemisphere (I'm currently working on an essay on how this seems to increase both misogyny and misandry at a neurological level, while simultaneously pushing "anti-sexism" or androgyny). In the meantime, we're going through an extinction event and a lot of family lines are going to die out.
See (ignore the bad URL, this was one of my first essays and I didn't know I could edit them at the time! The essay is on the dark history of parenting books):
https://thecassandracomplex.substack.com/p/the-dangers-of-reading-too-much-part-df8
This is actually a subject I'm very interested in. I'll read your articles. I do think that there are long-term psychological/neurological impacts that occur due to the misogyny and and misandry of parents against their own kids. The sons of feminist mothers tend to turn out one of two ways, neither of which is ideal. The demographic collapse we're going through is certainly a biological and cultural bottleneck.
I've subbed to your substack and will read your material when I get the time. I'd be happy to have a formalized discussion on the topics at some point if you're interested (you run a podcast?)... I've got at least one more related article prepped that I'll probably be dropping at some point.
On the off chance you aren't aware of her work, Janice Fiamengo wrote a great essay about "feminist" mothers ...
https://fiamengofile.substack.com/p/when-feminism-is-child-abuse
This essay also hit me quite hard. It made a lot of sense once I read it, but I'd bought into the myth that biological fathers were more likely to abuse children than biological mothers ...
https://rwilson.substack.com/p/are-patriarchs-perpetrators-or-protectors
Statistically women, abuse more, however when a man comes into the house that is not the father, the children have a 33% more chance to be abused then from the real father. Easy to look up.
Yes, I realize that unrelated men are the biggest risk to children. That's why I specified "biological" mothers and fathers in my comment ... but at the same time, I've read so many stories by people who were abused by stepfathers and their mothers did nothing to protect them :-/
Oof, forgot to respond to this part -- no, I don't have a podcast! I've appeared on other people's (and am open to speaking to pretty much anyone who wants to have an honest conversation), but I'm also about to pop out another kid in early October so right now it's one of those very-soon or in-quite-a-while things. If you start one, I'm open to it, or to just talking and not recording, but I'm probably going to go quiet for a few months after the baby is born lol (I mean, depending on how I feel. Last time was a bit rough, but this pregnancy is going better so maybe I'll bounce back faster).
I'll let you know. I've been WAY too busy to start something like that right now, but I'll keep you posted. We should chat some time. And congratulations on the kid! They're work, but adorable!
I just read your writings on the apocalypse book
I’m doing canning myself but something very important about medicine is Kratom really works well.
Kratom is a powder you can get it’s not very expensive. The green makes you feel happy, the white gives you a caffeine kind of high, and the red is good for pain and sleep
People should definitely hoard some red Kratom. You can keep it forever and it will still work.
Just wanted to let you know that
Thanks for reading. While I'm not sure how the cultural decay will look in our generation, having alternatives is a good idea. I always enjoyed preserving food in the house rather than bulk-purchasing industrial strength canned goods.
Those years when I got to be a full-time mom were definitely 100% the best years of my life. Nothing is ever gonna come closer in the future.
Well done for providing some balance here. My experience also. I fail to see how matching shrill whiny feminist anger with shrill whiny masculine anger however is ever going to solve this. I think this is a North American issue as I work with twenty something British women who are not into feminism AT ALL. Unfortunately this new American misogyny is colouring the internet with hate and is not helping. It will be men who wind up alone in their old age as well as women. We all age. So perhaps we could all work towards helping people balance their expectations ( men’s too) and find one another. Rather than using these platforms to antagonise.
In the real world, I feel like I encounter a lot more anger and misandry from women than anger and misogyny from men, but that's probably at least partially a result of what our culture finds it acceptable for people to express. I'm interested in criticisms of misandry and feminism, but I've been frustrated online at the misogyny and the dismissal of the historic context for feminism that often occurs in these spaces. Western feminism was a reaction to hundreds of years of very real mistreatment of women that started around the time of the Protestant Revolution. And in many countries across the world, it's still very much needed because of how women are oppressed and mistreated. The hard fact is that when power balance is tilted toward men, many men will exploit it to mistreat women, and when power balance is tilted toward women (e.g. "believe all women), many women will exploit it to mistreat men -- and both sexes mistreat children. I'm working on an essay right now that argues that misogyny and misandry come from the same (rough) part of the brain, and that when one is present, the other usually is too (i.e. feminists who are misandristic and usually misogynistic too, and men who are misogynistic also hate or resent masculine men). Hopefully I'll get it out soon.
Humans evolved with a power imbalance towards men. All feminist societies in human history have failed, all patriarchal societies in human history have seen at least a degree of success... there's a reason for that. If something has been working for 2000 years, suddenly changing it is unlikely to lead to societal success.
Male and female power looks very different, and I think a balance between the two is ideal -- however, I think in a society that values both men and women and masculinity and femininity, you'll have far more men in public positions of power than women and that this can be healthy. It really seems to me that most women are happier focussing on raising their children and being at home, perhaps balanced with part-time meaningful work or volunteering, but I'd argue that motherhood is a position of tremendous power and importance ... just in a very different way :-) and, yes, one that's less likely to land you in the history books.
Indulging my annoying habit of commenting while reading, so apologies in advance if the article goes on to make this comment silly
> Women’s empowerment became a trade of slaving away in for your family to slaving away for your boss in the corporate office.
This is hilarious to me, because anyone in 1950 could have seen this coming, if women bothered to ask their opinions. But women live in the lap of privilege and luxury, mistakenly believe that this is their natural entitlement, and scream about injustice whenever the constraints of reality harsh their buzz.
Only a woman could look at a career man in the 1960s, spending 10+ hours a day at the office, scraping by to _give her free money_, and say "wow, it's so unfair that I don't get to do that".
You know they pay you because you _don't_ want to do the work otherwise, right? Ass, Gas, or Grass, nobody rides for free. Well, except 1950s housewives, but apparently you'd rather be poor than bored
Feminists are a bunch of sickos. I knew from the time when I was born. I just wanted to be a mother and wife. The feminist ruined so much of peoples lives, It’s not even funny. I hate going out and competing with men. I don’t even like leaving my house. If I ever had the chance to never leave my house again, I would take it.
Feminism has driven me to unironically hate women. All women. Women collectively as a group as well as women on an individual level. In my entire life, there are only four women I have met who I didn't think were cruel, sadistic, and evil, and who weren't hostile to me.
Two are the exceptions that prove the rule.
One is very gay and you'd mistake her for a dude, so she doesn't count.
One is married, and I assume was insufferably evil until her husband fixed her
It makes me incredibly sad that I have come to this point in life but, well, I am not the one who decided we are locked in a zero sum game where the loser gets a lifetime of slavery and misery, but if those are the parameters, I have no intention of losing.
People tell me there's women who are decent human beings all over the place. Nobody has ever actually introduced me to one. They insist these people exist, but can't seem to point at one. Rly Makes U Think
In my neighborhood, the garbage trucks take out the garbage early in the morning and unfortunately everyone’s garbage pail is still out there at night.
People don’t even get a chance to grab the garbage pail until the nighttime. Never mind getting to know their neighbors. That’s what happened when women stopped staying home. Civilization is crumbling because of this.
Women used to have coffee and get to know each other and the kids would get to know grown-ups they can trust right next-door. That’s how it was in my neighborhood and it was good for everyone.
Now nobody knows their neighbors because their neighbors are too busy . It’s very depressing.
I think feminism will end but it will take another 30-40 years to die off completely. In the meantime, we are inundated with foreign savage invaders and Western women are not having babies...demographics are destiny.
"Its total destruction will likely take another century or two"
Or perhaps not so long: no generation is so invested in feminism as the Boomers, who as First Adopters of this so-called "radical philosophy", reaped most of the limited benefits without the myriad of costs. As the Boomers go boom, feminism loses its largest and often most vocal cohort of proponents.
I saw a Ted talk (I know) about feminism being the result of automatic washing machines. All of the sudden women had way too much time on their hands. Idle hands and all.
I would note one thing. You place a certain amount of blame upon the creation of suburbs in destroying community - and I think that is a bit misplaced. Because there were churches and schools and shops even in the burbs. Working killed it - because it is hard to work full time and do all those things to the extent women may want.
High density living environments are not conducive to kids in US culture. Neighbors can be just as distant behind a condo door, or a townhouse, as in a suburban sprawl. Millennials were the first generation assumed to not want the suburbs. Until all of sudden they did the exact same thing their older boomer and Gen X brethren did. Moved to the burbs for some yard for the kids. I would expect gen Z will follow the exact same path, no matter how delayed it may become.
What is killing feminism is the fact that going to work full time is not glamorous, but viewed as necessary. No fault divorce with limited alimony makes it an imperative to be able to get into the workforce quickly if need be. But covid reminded women exactly how little they were actually getting for all that time spent away, often time to just give it to child care expense and more restaurant meals and taxes. That created a moment, which we are now having, along with new ways through technology to make a buck without tying oneself to an office for 40 hours a week.
If it was_only_ work, then the feminist movement would never have gotten started. Covid certainly accelerated this process, but I think it would have begun anyway. I do think that boredom and loneliness were the primary drivers of women leaving the home, not a need for income. A need for income arose only after the workforce doubled.
I would agree, that the mundane made women want to do more. But the feminist movement packaged it in a way to say lets just copy being men. And so women said sure. There would have been alternative ways to provide that desire to do "more", or there could have been an allowance for doing "more" in different ways. But that would have required the feminists to abandon their greater goal of societal upheaval. It was never about doing what was right by women, but was more about accumulating political power.
Besides entering into the workforce and immediately creating more money chasing of scarce resources, the movement lobbied for and gained popular acceptance for abortion availability at some point in gestation process, much to men's delight. (Men still favor abortion in slightly greater percentages than women do). The acceptance of no-fault divorce, and the hook up culture left women battle scarred and bitter.
Covid then ripped the mask off the joys and benefits of duel income full time working families. It stripped away one of women's most cherished things - the ability to care for your family and raise your children. I do think work was the thing whispered in women's ears. It's not fair you can't become a fireman, doctor, etc, so let's create a political movement about getting you those rights, and then give you the same sexual freedom men possess.
How feminism will end: In tears. Of course. ;)
I don't think it will take _more_ than a century to undo modern feminism if one or more of the 'collapses' that threaten occurs. People will need to ban together for survival, and those bands who get bogged down in petty squabbles simply won't survive.
Hey, nice article. Indeed, Feminism will die when the vast majority of women realize that they have traded in the "drudgery" of homemaking for the even worse drudgery of the corporate grind. The former can be profoundly fulfilling while the latter is rarely so. There will always be some girl bosses who will cling to their corporate ambitions, but it's quite satisfying -- and, a little sad, honestly -- to see just how many now understand that they were duped.
One thing's for sure: it's a long, long path ahead to reconciliation between men and women at large. And, the future of the Western world depends on it (especially those of our generation who won't have kids to look after them in their old age).
The times ahead offer both desolation and a hope for rebirth; I, for one, pray we can move past all this nonsense.
Not just boredom, although that’s valid. Betty Friedan basically said so. But that happened within the context of no options. Couldn’t have kids, don’t want to marry? Sorry. Stay home bitch we don’t want you. Either in business or in public life. No, feminists won. Women have options. What we don’t have is respect. This was the other big, big reason for the feminist movement: pretty much everything women did was taken for granted. So you stayed home and raised kids, keeping a decent house and your husband happy? So what. Wanna move the pendulum back? Give cred to femininity and feminine ways of experiencing the world. Make motherhood great again. As an aside, I find it really telling that Martha Stewart built an empire from high end housekeeping at the same time as women were no longer at home. She made womanhood aspirational because who had time for that anymore?
Feminists are the ones condemning housekeeping and motherhood... which in the long term is beneficial. Those who support the apocalyptically bad idea of feminism are the same that are breeding themselves out of existence. Feminism is a self-solving problem, they create women who don't have kids, and men who won't sacrifice for a feminist society. There are no significant matriarchal societies in human history for a reason. Housekeeping should be aspirational for women... and it's becoming so as men are retaking positions of societal authority.
Violent migrants will end feminism a lot quicker than social media.
You might like https://ukresponse.substack.com/p/against-tinder
NB Morays are fish.
Thanks!
Men and women are different. Mentally, physically and spiritually. Women excel in areas men do not and vice versa. We are interdependent as sexes. Right glove, left glove. It's the only positive thing the whole current "rights" movement is proving: the intellectual dishonesty of all the DIE/ESG/CRT Post Modernist bullshit that spawned it all.
In time the poison of feminism will drain from the body as the old generations die off who grew up not able to see the true repercussions of the toxic ideology leave this mortal coil, leaving behind those who saw it for the truth it was. The same way those who believe in segregation have died out so too will feminism slowly release it's control over the western world as it's strength wanes by death of it's acolytes and adherents drift away with the regret of having once been a part of a grand deception. There should be one standard of merit: the ability to do a job. Those able should reap the benefits of society, as wekk as take the responsibilities incumbent upon those who do. Women are not a fish, and men are not bicycles.
Remember, merit, applied equally to all is the judge. There should not be exceptions to this. Do what you can, where you can, without being hindered or enabled in society.
They got bored because men made things like refrigerators, washing machines, made running water a thing, electricity.
Roads, schools, hospitals, cars.
That's what freed women