I agree with a lot of what you've written here. I was sucked into some aspects of feminism, but always hated the "girl boss" stuff. Sam Vaknin argued that mainstream feminism encourages women to behave like psychopathic men (not healthy ones) and I agree with him.
I was successful in my chosen career (marketing and development for arts events) in my twenties and early thirties, but burned out and quit my full time job in 2019 in large part because of a poor ability to deal with personality disordered people (in particular older women -- hell hath no fury like a narcissistic aging would-be "artist" scorned) and because I was exhausted by "Woke" culture. I had a bunch of contract gigs lined up, but they were cancelled due to Covid. But in 2020, I met and married my husband, and I was pregnant by the end of the year. I JUMPED at the opportunity to become a STAH mother, and fortunately we were able to afford for me to do so.
I love it and have no desire to return to work. I'm pissed that other women tried to convince me that the worst thing in the world was being barefoot and pregnant in a comfortable dress in a kitchen. Audiobooks and podcasts make that kind of thing awesome. I love that not working allows me to sleep in or write or read in the morning (my toddler gets up between 9am-10am) and to cook at home, and spend an entire day doing stuff like making a big batch of pasta sauce using the ancestral receipe and techniques from my Italian side. My neighbourhood has a daily parent and child hangout, which has been a social lifeline and helped me (and my daughter) make friends who live in our new neighbourhood. And then Substack and Discord are my major intellectual outlets. It would be much harder to be a STAH mother without technology, without the option to write and find other people who share my nerdy niche interests, and without the in-person community I'm very lucky to have (my husband and I both have lots of family around as well, which is rare today).
Most of the married-with-kids women who are still working have told me they wish they could afford to quit or could find part-time work instead, or wish they could have taken longer maternity leaves. Many of them are the primary breadwinners in their relationships, however, and it's not an option. A lot of women are waking up to the lies feminism sold us -- but generally speaking, these are women in relationships with good men.
There's another unfortunate aspect to the influx of women into higher education and white-collar workplaces; girls mature faster than boys. This means that girls have a significant cognitive advantage during grade school, which gives us an advantage in college admissions, and then into careers. However, over the course of our 20s, many men start to "catch up" to us. Women's grade school performance often gives a false impression of what their adult capabilities will be (obviously not in all cases, but generally speaking) and we end up in careers we aren't necessarily suited for -- while men who would have succeeded in them are not given the opportunity. Add to this the brain rewiring of motherhood -- I noticed a significant dip in my semantic memory, processing speed, and mental math abilities with motherhood, which would have absolutely affected my performance if I were still at work.
I really appreciate the input. You should subscribe to my substack. I believe your experiences are pretty characteristic of what's happening right now in our culture. It seems like social media is critical to fulfilling the social needs of homemaker mothers. I'd love to continue getting your input on other posts I make.
There's a lot of young men right now that were never really given opportunities or were passed over for more diverse backgrounds. It's done a tremendous amount of damage and will probably be a generation before our society is back on its feet, maybe several generations. I know I've been passed over for not being a diverse enough candidate more than once in my career and it's extremely frustrating. My aim now is to build my own business (and my substack) because it doesn't look like it's possible for a non-diverse individual to make it in this society working for any one else.
I'll check out more of your essays when I have a chance. Hit the "follow" button. I'm interested in this particular topic, but my own writing has focussed far more on the impact on children and early brain development and attachment.
I think it's going to take several generations to heal, because parenting wisdom has been corrupted in the West for *at least* 400 years, probably longer. I think feminism was a natural reaction to the things you outlined in this essay, but also to the corruption of parenting practices, negative attitudes toward childcare and cooking (as being "beneath" high status women), and a shift toward the left hemisphere's ways of processing the world at the expense of the right hemisphere (I'm currently working on an essay on how this seems to increase both misogyny and misandry at a neurological level, while simultaneously pushing "anti-sexism" or androgyny). In the meantime, we're going through an extinction event and a lot of family lines are going to die out.
See (ignore the bad URL, this was one of my first essays and I didn't know I could edit them at the time! The essay is on the dark history of parenting books):
This is actually a subject I'm very interested in. I'll read your articles. I do think that there are long-term psychological/neurological impacts that occur due to the misogyny and and misandry of parents against their own kids. The sons of feminist mothers tend to turn out one of two ways, neither of which is ideal. The demographic collapse we're going through is certainly a biological and cultural bottleneck.
I've subbed to your substack and will read your material when I get the time. I'd be happy to have a formalized discussion on the topics at some point if you're interested (you run a podcast?)... I've got at least one more related article prepped that I'll probably be dropping at some point.
This essay also hit me quite hard. It made a lot of sense once I read it, but I'd bought into the myth that biological fathers were more likely to abuse children than biological mothers ...
Statistically women, abuse more, however when a man comes into the house that is not the father, the children have a 33% more chance to be abused then from the real father. Easy to look up.
Unrelated male sexual abuse is orders of magnitude higher. There are many examples of biological fathers because there are more of them. With statistical rigor, you only want related males around. Unrelated males are BAD to have in a home with children and especially young women of sexual maturity. It is not tiny like 33%, more like 3333% (300x). I have never seen any comparison that was within an order of magnitude. You need to be careful with sociology and psychology sources because they are so bad with math, especially statistics.
Yes, I realize that unrelated men are the biggest risk to children. That's why I specified "biological" mothers and fathers in my comment ... but at the same time, I've read so many stories by people who were abused by stepfathers and their mothers did nothing to protect them :-/
Oof, forgot to respond to this part -- no, I don't have a podcast! I've appeared on other people's (and am open to speaking to pretty much anyone who wants to have an honest conversation), but I'm also about to pop out another kid in early October so right now it's one of those very-soon or in-quite-a-while things. If you start one, I'm open to it, or to just talking and not recording, but I'm probably going to go quiet for a few months after the baby is born lol (I mean, depending on how I feel. Last time was a bit rough, but this pregnancy is going better so maybe I'll bounce back faster).
I'll let you know. I've been WAY too busy to start something like that right now, but I'll keep you posted. We should chat some time. And congratulations on the kid! They're work, but adorable!
I’m doing canning myself but something very important about medicine is Kratom really works well.
Kratom is a powder you can get it’s not very expensive. The green makes you feel happy, the white gives you a caffeine kind of high, and the red is good for pain and sleep
People should definitely hoard some red Kratom. You can keep it forever and it will still work.
Thanks for reading. While I'm not sure how the cultural decay will look in our generation, having alternatives is a good idea. I always enjoyed preserving food in the house rather than bulk-purchasing industrial strength canned goods.
Well done for providing some balance here. My experience also. I fail to see how matching shrill whiny feminist anger with shrill whiny masculine anger however is ever going to solve this. I think this is a North American issue as I work with twenty something British women who are not into feminism AT ALL. Unfortunately this new American misogyny is colouring the internet with hate and is not helping. It will be men who wind up alone in their old age as well as women. We all age. So perhaps we could all work towards helping people balance their expectations ( men’s too) and find one another. Rather than using these platforms to antagonise.
In the real world, I feel like I encounter a lot more anger and misandry from women than anger and misogyny from men, but that's probably at least partially a result of what our culture finds it acceptable for people to express. I'm interested in criticisms of misandry and feminism, but I've been frustrated online at the misogyny and the dismissal of the historic context for feminism that often occurs in these spaces. Western feminism was a reaction to hundreds of years of very real mistreatment of women that started around the time of the Protestant Revolution. And in many countries across the world, it's still very much needed because of how women are oppressed and mistreated. The hard fact is that when power balance is tilted toward men, many men will exploit it to mistreat women, and when power balance is tilted toward women (e.g. "believe all women), many women will exploit it to mistreat men -- and both sexes mistreat children. I'm working on an essay right now that argues that misogyny and misandry come from the same (rough) part of the brain, and that when one is present, the other usually is too (i.e. feminists who are misandristic and usually misogynistic too, and men who are misogynistic also hate or resent masculine men). Hopefully I'll get it out soon.
Humans evolved with a power imbalance towards men. All feminist societies in human history have failed, all patriarchal societies in human history have seen at least a degree of success... there's a reason for that. If something has been working for 2000 years, suddenly changing it is unlikely to lead to societal success.
Male and female power looks very different, and I think a balance between the two is ideal -- however, I think in a society that values both men and women and masculinity and femininity, you'll have far more men in public positions of power than women and that this can be healthy. It really seems to me that most women are happier focussing on raising their children and being at home, perhaps balanced with part-time meaningful work or volunteering, but I'd argue that motherhood is a position of tremendous power and importance ... just in a very different way :-) and, yes, one that's less likely to land you in the history books.
And modern feminism did a grave disservice by minimizing (if not demonizing) that power and importance that you speak of. In the traditional family, women are the keepers and transmitters of culture. They shape the next generation by passing on the hard-learned lessons of the ancestors.
My grandmother's culinary, domestic, artistic, and familial leadership traditions (that came from HER grandmother) were a proud and rich part of my family's culture. My mother's generation (the classic Tom Wolfe "Me Generation") decided that all of this was "oppression" and eschewed learning these pieces of our culture in favor of sex, drugs, rock & roll, and selfishness. Many of these cultural elements all-but died with her and a chunk of my family's culture nearly died with her until (ironically) the men of the family decided to rightfully and thankfully resurrect them. Now I'm the one who teaches my daughter how to stock and manage a pantry, cook and freeze made-from-scratch soup, mend clothing, and raise children into high-functioning adults.
If the men have taken up the mantle of culture-keepers and culture-transmitters (formerly held by the women of the family), how do you think this affects the value and desirability of potential female mates? These were cherished roles that the women of old brought to the proverbial table. Again, the biggest feminist lie is that working for a company that gives zero (cares) about you is somehow more fulfilling than working for a family that loves and venerates you.
I agree -- I've noticed far more men (at least white men) know how to cook etc than (white) women do now. I'm lucky that I grew up partially with a very strong culture (Southern Italian, mother's side) and learned some stuff from that side (I know how to make huge batches of soup and pasta sauce from scratch and will teach my daughters). I also grew up with a STAH mom and am one now. I'm in an inter-cultural marriage (my husband is Jewish) and have come to recognize how important cultural connection etc is. I'm trying to learn more about Judaism and Jewish traditions for the sake of our children; I haven't converted yet but am considering it. I recognize that intercultural and interfaith marriages can contribute to the loss of these traditions, we risk washing out to mainstream consumerist culture. If that makes sense ...
In the 80s, we used to hear a lot of crap “ Calgon take me away” it was a bath, bubble commercial, saying how much women should hate their families
I knew at the time something really bad was gonna happen with this stupid society
And of course everything got fucked up after feminism and people had much shitty of lives, and most of us are on some kind of depression medicine the majority
I'm interested in your comment because I've actually experienced a lot of misandry, actually a detrimental amount, just in real life from random women on the street or public transportation. I always thought it was my being in a very female academic and feminist city, but it's strange you don't hear much about misandry because it's pretty palpable in certain cities like Boston or SF and certain schools. That's one reason I'm not that impressed with the thesis that feminism's biggest problem is careerism and relationships and will self own because of that. I think there's some pretty pernicious attitudes coming from the academic side that aren't really criticized by men enough, and since often there is a sort of fake veneer of compassion in academic or institutional feminism, the men are very uncritical of it. So it leaves a situation where the only male criticisms about feminism are all about sexual politics and often misogynistic and the misandry from the other side is more verbally sophisticated and stealth in a sense.
I think it's because men and women are psychologically different. Underlying structural insult arouses the ire of men in a way that snooty comments on the bus don't. The reaction to feminism is going to be slower, and entirely dependent on how feminists behave as the culture turns on them. Given their track record, I find it plausible that the discussion over whether women should vote at all will move from tiny online chatrooms to major publications and celebrity voices on X.
I'm not sure how I feel about this, but I agree that this discussion (re women voting) will likely become more popular. I was talking to my husband about this and we realized that because women tend to have significant influence over their husbands (unless the husband is abusive / controlling etc), denying women the vote is effectively denying *unmarried* women the vote ... married women would have a say in their husbands' votes. This is interesting, because married women are more likely to vote conservative than unmarried women.
I published the essay I mentioned in the previous comment, which kind of gets at this ... I think misandry in feminist circles has its root in brain differences and development ...
Why do you mark the Reformation as a time when women began being mistreated? Were Catholics nicer? I hadn’t heard this expressed before and it caught my eye. Women in many cultures have labored under restrictions which to me seem oppressive (ex: Roman women had no personal names) but I’m told that it is a matter of perspective. So I am asking, because I don’t have perspective.
It's not that the Reformation was when women started being mistreated, but that misogyny became far worse in the West after the Reformation. During the "Dark Ages", women were treated a bit better. It changes all the time.
I get into some of the history a bit in this essay --
I'm not that impressed by any of this discourse because it all seems to be on the same theme that careerism and sexual politics are the biggest problems with feminism, rather than some of the underlying premises of academic feminism that it's male critics don't even seem to want to challenge. Therefore there's this unrealistic conference that feminism will "self own".
Academic feminism only exists because men permitted women into academia. Modern feminism is doing a great job engendering enough bad blood that the response may eliminate it all the way to academic discourse. "it's better to be feared than loved, but important never to be hated". Feminism (and a lot of feminists) are hated. It'll take a few decades, but the response to feminist ideals could be a single-minded anti-female push across parts of the English-speaking world.
Maybe. The way many on the right has taken on the narratives of masculinity studies / 'masculinity crisis' feminism uncritically and doesn't seem to see through minor rebranding or compassionatw posturing worries me.
Many men lean to Right because the Democrats and feminist left have told them to piss off for the last thirty years. They funded women's health and ignored men's health. That's not "masculinity studies", that is standing up for equal rights for men.
I don't recall "The Great Gender War" where women took up arms against men and died by the thousand in the trenches, forcing an armistice and eventually securing equal rights. Do you? If you ask for something from the figures of authority and then are permitted to have it, the word "permit" is entirely appropriate.
That’s a great reply. I am interested in your comment regarding technology. The Industrial Revolution and then the sexual revolution created the conditions for feminism but the digital revolution allows women to settle back into their traditional roles. Good for you. It’s a right old hot mess now though and educated women are deeply attached to feminist tropes even as they acquiesce to the changes. I think it will take men stepping up and being the men they should be and insisting that women meet them in the middle. It’s fascinating to see how Trump and his team are mirroring how we should be in getting our houses in order. Such an interesting time to live. Feminism has been destructive but seeing us all re awaken to truth is exciting. ( hate the way the left commandeers language and dominates its meaning. The word gay comes to mind.)
In my neighborhood, the garbage trucks take out the garbage early in the morning and unfortunately everyone’s garbage pail is still out there at night.
People don’t even get a chance to grab the garbage pail until the nighttime. Never mind getting to know their neighbors. That’s what happened when women stopped staying home. Civilization is crumbling because of this.
Women used to have coffee and get to know each other and the kids would get to know grown-ups they can trust right next-door. That’s how it was in my neighborhood and it was good for everyone.
Now nobody knows their neighbors because their neighbors are too busy . It’s very depressing.
Indulging my annoying habit of commenting while reading, so apologies in advance if the article goes on to make this comment silly
> Women’s empowerment became a trade of slaving away in for your family to slaving away for your boss in the corporate office.
This is hilarious to me, because anyone in 1950 could have seen this coming, if women bothered to ask their opinions. But women live in the lap of privilege and luxury, mistakenly believe that this is their natural entitlement, and scream about injustice whenever the constraints of reality harsh their buzz.
Only a woman could look at a career man in the 1960s, spending 10+ hours a day at the office, scraping by to _give her free money_, and say "wow, it's so unfair that I don't get to do that".
You know they pay you because you _don't_ want to do the work otherwise, right? Ass, Gas, or Grass, nobody rides for free. Well, except 1950s housewives, but apparently you'd rather be poor than bored
Feminists are a bunch of sickos. I knew from the time when I was born. I just wanted to be a mother and wife. The feminist ruined so much of peoples lives, It’s not even funny. I hate going out and competing with men. I don’t even like leaving my house. If I ever had the chance to never leave my house again, I would take it.
Feminism has driven me to unironically hate women. All women. Women collectively as a group as well as women on an individual level. In my entire life, there are only four women I have met who I didn't think were cruel, sadistic, and evil, and who weren't hostile to me.
Two are the exceptions that prove the rule.
One is very gay and you'd mistake her for a dude, so she doesn't count.
One is married, and I assume was insufferably evil until her husband fixed her
It makes me incredibly sad that I have come to this point in life but, well, I am not the one who decided we are locked in a zero sum game where the loser gets a lifetime of slavery and misery, but if those are the parameters, I have no intention of losing.
People tell me there's women who are decent human beings all over the place. Nobody has ever actually introduced me to one. They insist these people exist, but can't seem to point at one. Rly Makes U Think
Women love me precisely because I'm an ethically questionable person. Ultimately women, and especially male feminists who behave like women, rarely have a good idea what women want.
That said, women aren't decent humans in the same sense that dogs aren't decent humans. The quality depends heavily on the quality of the trainer.
I think our ability to reach and influence young women with this piece is going to be hampered by the fact that you describe the female activities as “petty” in multiple places, while men are out doing the important stuff. I’m not a feminist to any conceivable degree, and even I found that distasteful. There are many things that women do that men admittedly find uninteresting or unimportant, which are not actually unimportant. Community building, local politicking, etc. is actually quite important in terms of building the reality and structure of our social lives. Men certainly are not going to do it, but we definitely are the benefactors of women’s activities in this space. I have been married for 30 years, and I can honestly say that w/o my wife’s “petty” community building activities I probably would not have any friend today. Our closest and dearest friends and social experiences have all been architected, developed and actioned by my wife. Our society, and we men in particularly, need to start emphasizing and valuing the domestic roles and activities of women far far far more than we do today if we want to turn things around.
A few things to respond to here. First of all, I see no need to 'reach' women as a demographic. Women will nearly universally default to the perceived cultural authority whatever that may be. It's been neoliberalism for 30 years, and it's been a disaster. The upcoming cultural authority will be far more patriarchal, and they'll default to that. Many of the forward-thinking women are already defaulting to that because they can smell which way the wind is blowing. "Reaching" is entirely unnecessary, simply being in a position of cultural dominance is more than sufficient.
I'm not about to be tone-policed by a boomer. Tone-policing is a highly feminine trait of a feminized society that's been used and abused by female-supremacy movements. I couldn't care if some one is offended. If you take issue with the substance, I'm happy to discuss it. This "oh, you can't say that because some one might feel upset" bullshit is what got us here in the first place. Total unapologetic cultural dominance is what's needed now. Women who get offended over hostile words aren't generally worth communicating with in the first place. The nuance of complex discussion is immediately lost when the opposition party responds with "but he said mean things that made my feelings feel sad". Why should we engage at all with those who begin by immediately attacking the tone of an argument over its substance? Calling them petty is itself a litmus test for if they're too psychologically fragile to hold a conversation. If they are, then I don't care what they have to say. No one cares. I have a whole article on that: https://alwaysthehorizon.substack.com/p/me-ne-frego
Finally, they are petty activities. Especially if they're activities performed without benefiting the community at-large. Petty drama via social-media apps is exactly what it sounds like: petty entertainment for them. There is no armistice between the genders right now, and trying to cater to single women is itself a losing battle... and if they engage in these activities which serve no purpose in the larger social ties of the body politic, they are petty. Right now, their actions may be described as petty because they exist in a vacuum: an environment of single member house holds, not married couples forming communities.
i think I hit a nerve. The only thing petty here is the public temper tantrum you just threw. The upside being that the whole world can see it for themselves.
Here’s a boomer piece of advice kid. speaking about nuance ( and you totally missed my feedback on your “substance”). Many times in life you can be right or you can be happy. don’t figure that one out too late. There are some areas in which you can’t be both.
I’ll leave you to think about that while you go back to eating your tate-tots.
I think this conversation if anything shows the stark difference between the Old White Males and the Young White Males in today’s society. OWM are so pussywhipped they won’t even dare calling something what it is at the risk of offending women. You’re entirely right in the sense that women are very fairweather and opportunistic creatures. Who cares about appealing to them it’s a shakey and loose foundation to base your support on them. The group you should look to appeal to are the YWM. The boomer doesn’t understand this as once people get past a certain age in America it seems the very idea of revolution or “Politics beyond the voting booth” become something completely out of mind.
"Its total destruction will likely take another century or two"
Or perhaps not so long: no generation is so invested in feminism as the Boomers, who as First Adopters of this so-called "radical philosophy", reaped most of the limited benefits without the myriad of costs. As the Boomers go boom, feminism loses its largest and often most vocal cohort of proponents.
I would note one thing. You place a certain amount of blame upon the creation of suburbs in destroying community - and I think that is a bit misplaced. Because there were churches and schools and shops even in the burbs. Working killed it - because it is hard to work full time and do all those things to the extent women may want.
High density living environments are not conducive to kids in US culture. Neighbors can be just as distant behind a condo door, or a townhouse, as in a suburban sprawl. Millennials were the first generation assumed to not want the suburbs. Until all of sudden they did the exact same thing their older boomer and Gen X brethren did. Moved to the burbs for some yard for the kids. I would expect gen Z will follow the exact same path, no matter how delayed it may become.
What is killing feminism is the fact that going to work full time is not glamorous, but viewed as necessary. No fault divorce with limited alimony makes it an imperative to be able to get into the workforce quickly if need be. But covid reminded women exactly how little they were actually getting for all that time spent away, often time to just give it to child care expense and more restaurant meals and taxes. That created a moment, which we are now having, along with new ways through technology to make a buck without tying oneself to an office for 40 hours a week.
If it was_only_ work, then the feminist movement would never have gotten started. Covid certainly accelerated this process, but I think it would have begun anyway. I do think that boredom and loneliness were the primary drivers of women leaving the home, not a need for income. A need for income arose only after the workforce doubled.
I would agree, that the mundane made women want to do more. But the feminist movement packaged it in a way to say lets just copy being men. And so women said sure. There would have been alternative ways to provide that desire to do "more", or there could have been an allowance for doing "more" in different ways. But that would have required the feminists to abandon their greater goal of societal upheaval. It was never about doing what was right by women, but was more about accumulating political power.
Besides entering into the workforce and immediately creating more money chasing of scarce resources, the movement lobbied for and gained popular acceptance for abortion availability at some point in gestation process, much to men's delight. (Men still favor abortion in slightly greater percentages than women do). The acceptance of no-fault divorce, and the hook up culture left women battle scarred and bitter.
Covid then ripped the mask off the joys and benefits of duel income full time working families. It stripped away one of women's most cherished things - the ability to care for your family and raise your children. I do think work was the thing whispered in women's ears. It's not fair you can't become a fireman, doctor, etc, so let's create a political movement about getting you those rights, and then give you the same sexual freedom men possess.
Emphasis on “sexual freedom” which denigrates responsibility or ownership. “Looking for Mr. Goodbar” has weirdly morphed into masking up and screaming. A lot of unhappy and angry women out there. Good luck at figuring your way out of that —- ever. Sadly.
This is my first comment since setting up my substack account. Just wanted to say that I really appreciate a feminism-critical essay that doesn't devolve into mindless name-calling and finger-pointing. The reasons for feminism were many, and I agree it will go away as those reasons evaporate. My own problem with feminism, since I was old enough to be aware of it back in the 70s, is that it's not about "empowering women" or some such nonsense. It's about making women into men. Feminism is profoundly anti-feminine. Perhaps that is why it is so ugly. Perhaps it was also a foundational slab for transhumanism. Anyway really enjoyed this, thanks.
I saw a Ted talk (I know) about feminism being the result of automatic washing machines. All of the sudden women had way too much time on their hands. Idle hands and all.
Nice article but a bit off the mark. Intersectional feminism drafted its own death warrant when it signed on with Marxist ideology then wrongly conflated men with capitalist exploitation. The next step was easy. Align with jihadism to destroy the patriarchy. Look around. The only cult that is expanding at an alarming rate is Islamic fundamentalism which is a zero-sum game for women. As always, men will do the hard lifting which includes peeling melted ourselves off the pavement. Love the comments that encourage the writer to subscribe to THEIR Substack. Totally pathetic.
Feminism has always acted as an intersectional entity. In order to claim that women are 'oppressed' it must require equity of outcome regardless of ability. It's self-evident that humans are sexually dimorphic so intersectionality grew out of the feminist need to deny reality despite all evidence. Islam is zero-sum, but the dogma of intersectionality exists to perpetuate itself at the expense of its adherents. This conclusion to feminist ideals was inevitable since its inception.
What happened in the latter half of the 20th century was the creation of a society so safety-conscious and so wealthy that they could afford to indulge the arrogant narcissisms of feminist women for a time... which occurred simultaneously with the deconstruction of meaningful social bonds; provisioning of an army of bored housewives.
We took something that could have been utopia and turned it plastic
We had all these lawns in suburbia, but why didnt we plant gardens? Why didnt we put up chicken coops? We had golf courses, but why didnt we instead create public ranches for sheep and goats? Why didnt we build orchards?
Our women had so much time, why disnt we encourage them to paint, to draw, to raise more children, to start businesses?
Instead we prided outselves on ridiculous vanities that meant nothing and accomplish less
Why didnt we take pride in the cooking of our women, in their ability to create clothing, to teach our kids, to use their amazing genius to make wonders?
Some boomers did try to do better. Most didn't. Unfortunately one must consider the most mediocre to be the normal outcome when performing cultural engineering. Especially in democratic polities.
I’ll believe feminists have integrity when they fight for and gain the right to be conscripted into the military and serve in 50% of all combat roles. Till then they want the benefits without the risks.
I'm not that impressed with this thesis about feminism because there's too much confidence I see that people think feminism will "self-own", and that's a side effect of people's criticism of feminism being so focused on how it will effect women in terms of careerism sexual politics and blocking status from young men. I don't think that will happen and I already see some criticism of feminism unwittingly adopting some of the more pernicious narratives about men and male psychology from academic feminism, simply because it's rhetorically sophisticated and has a veneer of compassion.
The only feminist I run into now, are boomer ladies still holding onto to the idea that work is giving them freedom. Old millennials and Gen Xers that believe being a miserable girl boss is still the greatest achievement.
I agree with a lot of what you've written here. I was sucked into some aspects of feminism, but always hated the "girl boss" stuff. Sam Vaknin argued that mainstream feminism encourages women to behave like psychopathic men (not healthy ones) and I agree with him.
I was successful in my chosen career (marketing and development for arts events) in my twenties and early thirties, but burned out and quit my full time job in 2019 in large part because of a poor ability to deal with personality disordered people (in particular older women -- hell hath no fury like a narcissistic aging would-be "artist" scorned) and because I was exhausted by "Woke" culture. I had a bunch of contract gigs lined up, but they were cancelled due to Covid. But in 2020, I met and married my husband, and I was pregnant by the end of the year. I JUMPED at the opportunity to become a STAH mother, and fortunately we were able to afford for me to do so.
I love it and have no desire to return to work. I'm pissed that other women tried to convince me that the worst thing in the world was being barefoot and pregnant in a comfortable dress in a kitchen. Audiobooks and podcasts make that kind of thing awesome. I love that not working allows me to sleep in or write or read in the morning (my toddler gets up between 9am-10am) and to cook at home, and spend an entire day doing stuff like making a big batch of pasta sauce using the ancestral receipe and techniques from my Italian side. My neighbourhood has a daily parent and child hangout, which has been a social lifeline and helped me (and my daughter) make friends who live in our new neighbourhood. And then Substack and Discord are my major intellectual outlets. It would be much harder to be a STAH mother without technology, without the option to write and find other people who share my nerdy niche interests, and without the in-person community I'm very lucky to have (my husband and I both have lots of family around as well, which is rare today).
Most of the married-with-kids women who are still working have told me they wish they could afford to quit or could find part-time work instead, or wish they could have taken longer maternity leaves. Many of them are the primary breadwinners in their relationships, however, and it's not an option. A lot of women are waking up to the lies feminism sold us -- but generally speaking, these are women in relationships with good men.
There's another unfortunate aspect to the influx of women into higher education and white-collar workplaces; girls mature faster than boys. This means that girls have a significant cognitive advantage during grade school, which gives us an advantage in college admissions, and then into careers. However, over the course of our 20s, many men start to "catch up" to us. Women's grade school performance often gives a false impression of what their adult capabilities will be (obviously not in all cases, but generally speaking) and we end up in careers we aren't necessarily suited for -- while men who would have succeeded in them are not given the opportunity. Add to this the brain rewiring of motherhood -- I noticed a significant dip in my semantic memory, processing speed, and mental math abilities with motherhood, which would have absolutely affected my performance if I were still at work.
I really appreciate the input. You should subscribe to my substack. I believe your experiences are pretty characteristic of what's happening right now in our culture. It seems like social media is critical to fulfilling the social needs of homemaker mothers. I'd love to continue getting your input on other posts I make.
There's a lot of young men right now that were never really given opportunities or were passed over for more diverse backgrounds. It's done a tremendous amount of damage and will probably be a generation before our society is back on its feet, maybe several generations. I know I've been passed over for not being a diverse enough candidate more than once in my career and it's extremely frustrating. My aim now is to build my own business (and my substack) because it doesn't look like it's possible for a non-diverse individual to make it in this society working for any one else.
I'll check out more of your essays when I have a chance. Hit the "follow" button. I'm interested in this particular topic, but my own writing has focussed far more on the impact on children and early brain development and attachment.
For example:
https://thecassandracomplex.substack.com/p/the-lost-girls-and-boys
I think it's going to take several generations to heal, because parenting wisdom has been corrupted in the West for *at least* 400 years, probably longer. I think feminism was a natural reaction to the things you outlined in this essay, but also to the corruption of parenting practices, negative attitudes toward childcare and cooking (as being "beneath" high status women), and a shift toward the left hemisphere's ways of processing the world at the expense of the right hemisphere (I'm currently working on an essay on how this seems to increase both misogyny and misandry at a neurological level, while simultaneously pushing "anti-sexism" or androgyny). In the meantime, we're going through an extinction event and a lot of family lines are going to die out.
See (ignore the bad URL, this was one of my first essays and I didn't know I could edit them at the time! The essay is on the dark history of parenting books):
https://thecassandracomplex.substack.com/p/the-dangers-of-reading-too-much-part-df8
This is actually a subject I'm very interested in. I'll read your articles. I do think that there are long-term psychological/neurological impacts that occur due to the misogyny and and misandry of parents against their own kids. The sons of feminist mothers tend to turn out one of two ways, neither of which is ideal. The demographic collapse we're going through is certainly a biological and cultural bottleneck.
I've subbed to your substack and will read your material when I get the time. I'd be happy to have a formalized discussion on the topics at some point if you're interested (you run a podcast?)... I've got at least one more related article prepped that I'll probably be dropping at some point.
On the off chance you aren't aware of her work, Janice Fiamengo wrote a great essay about "feminist" mothers ...
https://fiamengofile.substack.com/p/when-feminism-is-child-abuse
This essay also hit me quite hard. It made a lot of sense once I read it, but I'd bought into the myth that biological fathers were more likely to abuse children than biological mothers ...
https://rwilson.substack.com/p/are-patriarchs-perpetrators-or-protectors
Statistically women, abuse more, however when a man comes into the house that is not the father, the children have a 33% more chance to be abused then from the real father. Easy to look up.
Unrelated male sexual abuse is orders of magnitude higher. There are many examples of biological fathers because there are more of them. With statistical rigor, you only want related males around. Unrelated males are BAD to have in a home with children and especially young women of sexual maturity. It is not tiny like 33%, more like 3333% (300x). I have never seen any comparison that was within an order of magnitude. You need to be careful with sociology and psychology sources because they are so bad with math, especially statistics.
Yes, I realize that unrelated men are the biggest risk to children. That's why I specified "biological" mothers and fathers in my comment ... but at the same time, I've read so many stories by people who were abused by stepfathers and their mothers did nothing to protect them :-/
Oof, forgot to respond to this part -- no, I don't have a podcast! I've appeared on other people's (and am open to speaking to pretty much anyone who wants to have an honest conversation), but I'm also about to pop out another kid in early October so right now it's one of those very-soon or in-quite-a-while things. If you start one, I'm open to it, or to just talking and not recording, but I'm probably going to go quiet for a few months after the baby is born lol (I mean, depending on how I feel. Last time was a bit rough, but this pregnancy is going better so maybe I'll bounce back faster).
I'll let you know. I've been WAY too busy to start something like that right now, but I'll keep you posted. We should chat some time. And congratulations on the kid! They're work, but adorable!
Passed over? Corporate Amerika openly BRAGS that white males need not apply.
I just read your writings on the apocalypse book
I’m doing canning myself but something very important about medicine is Kratom really works well.
Kratom is a powder you can get it’s not very expensive. The green makes you feel happy, the white gives you a caffeine kind of high, and the red is good for pain and sleep
People should definitely hoard some red Kratom. You can keep it forever and it will still work.
Just wanted to let you know that
Thanks for reading. While I'm not sure how the cultural decay will look in our generation, having alternatives is a good idea. I always enjoyed preserving food in the house rather than bulk-purchasing industrial strength canned goods.
Those years when I got to be a full-time mom were definitely 100% the best years of my life. Nothing is ever gonna come closer in the future.
Well done for providing some balance here. My experience also. I fail to see how matching shrill whiny feminist anger with shrill whiny masculine anger however is ever going to solve this. I think this is a North American issue as I work with twenty something British women who are not into feminism AT ALL. Unfortunately this new American misogyny is colouring the internet with hate and is not helping. It will be men who wind up alone in their old age as well as women. We all age. So perhaps we could all work towards helping people balance their expectations ( men’s too) and find one another. Rather than using these platforms to antagonise.
In the real world, I feel like I encounter a lot more anger and misandry from women than anger and misogyny from men, but that's probably at least partially a result of what our culture finds it acceptable for people to express. I'm interested in criticisms of misandry and feminism, but I've been frustrated online at the misogyny and the dismissal of the historic context for feminism that often occurs in these spaces. Western feminism was a reaction to hundreds of years of very real mistreatment of women that started around the time of the Protestant Revolution. And in many countries across the world, it's still very much needed because of how women are oppressed and mistreated. The hard fact is that when power balance is tilted toward men, many men will exploit it to mistreat women, and when power balance is tilted toward women (e.g. "believe all women), many women will exploit it to mistreat men -- and both sexes mistreat children. I'm working on an essay right now that argues that misogyny and misandry come from the same (rough) part of the brain, and that when one is present, the other usually is too (i.e. feminists who are misandristic and usually misogynistic too, and men who are misogynistic also hate or resent masculine men). Hopefully I'll get it out soon.
Humans evolved with a power imbalance towards men. All feminist societies in human history have failed, all patriarchal societies in human history have seen at least a degree of success... there's a reason for that. If something has been working for 2000 years, suddenly changing it is unlikely to lead to societal success.
Male and female power looks very different, and I think a balance between the two is ideal -- however, I think in a society that values both men and women and masculinity and femininity, you'll have far more men in public positions of power than women and that this can be healthy. It really seems to me that most women are happier focussing on raising their children and being at home, perhaps balanced with part-time meaningful work or volunteering, but I'd argue that motherhood is a position of tremendous power and importance ... just in a very different way :-) and, yes, one that's less likely to land you in the history books.
And modern feminism did a grave disservice by minimizing (if not demonizing) that power and importance that you speak of. In the traditional family, women are the keepers and transmitters of culture. They shape the next generation by passing on the hard-learned lessons of the ancestors.
My grandmother's culinary, domestic, artistic, and familial leadership traditions (that came from HER grandmother) were a proud and rich part of my family's culture. My mother's generation (the classic Tom Wolfe "Me Generation") decided that all of this was "oppression" and eschewed learning these pieces of our culture in favor of sex, drugs, rock & roll, and selfishness. Many of these cultural elements all-but died with her and a chunk of my family's culture nearly died with her until (ironically) the men of the family decided to rightfully and thankfully resurrect them. Now I'm the one who teaches my daughter how to stock and manage a pantry, cook and freeze made-from-scratch soup, mend clothing, and raise children into high-functioning adults.
If the men have taken up the mantle of culture-keepers and culture-transmitters (formerly held by the women of the family), how do you think this affects the value and desirability of potential female mates? These were cherished roles that the women of old brought to the proverbial table. Again, the biggest feminist lie is that working for a company that gives zero (cares) about you is somehow more fulfilling than working for a family that loves and venerates you.
I agree -- I've noticed far more men (at least white men) know how to cook etc than (white) women do now. I'm lucky that I grew up partially with a very strong culture (Southern Italian, mother's side) and learned some stuff from that side (I know how to make huge batches of soup and pasta sauce from scratch and will teach my daughters). I also grew up with a STAH mom and am one now. I'm in an inter-cultural marriage (my husband is Jewish) and have come to recognize how important cultural connection etc is. I'm trying to learn more about Judaism and Jewish traditions for the sake of our children; I haven't converted yet but am considering it. I recognize that intercultural and interfaith marriages can contribute to the loss of these traditions, we risk washing out to mainstream consumerist culture. If that makes sense ...
In the 80s, we used to hear a lot of crap “ Calgon take me away” it was a bath, bubble commercial, saying how much women should hate their families
I knew at the time something really bad was gonna happen with this stupid society
And of course everything got fucked up after feminism and people had much shitty of lives, and most of us are on some kind of depression medicine the majority
I'm interested in your comment because I've actually experienced a lot of misandry, actually a detrimental amount, just in real life from random women on the street or public transportation. I always thought it was my being in a very female academic and feminist city, but it's strange you don't hear much about misandry because it's pretty palpable in certain cities like Boston or SF and certain schools. That's one reason I'm not that impressed with the thesis that feminism's biggest problem is careerism and relationships and will self own because of that. I think there's some pretty pernicious attitudes coming from the academic side that aren't really criticized by men enough, and since often there is a sort of fake veneer of compassion in academic or institutional feminism, the men are very uncritical of it. So it leaves a situation where the only male criticisms about feminism are all about sexual politics and often misogynistic and the misandry from the other side is more verbally sophisticated and stealth in a sense.
I think it's because men and women are psychologically different. Underlying structural insult arouses the ire of men in a way that snooty comments on the bus don't. The reaction to feminism is going to be slower, and entirely dependent on how feminists behave as the culture turns on them. Given their track record, I find it plausible that the discussion over whether women should vote at all will move from tiny online chatrooms to major publications and celebrity voices on X.
I'm not sure how I feel about this, but I agree that this discussion (re women voting) will likely become more popular. I was talking to my husband about this and we realized that because women tend to have significant influence over their husbands (unless the husband is abusive / controlling etc), denying women the vote is effectively denying *unmarried* women the vote ... married women would have a say in their husbands' votes. This is interesting, because married women are more likely to vote conservative than unmarried women.
Yeah I do think some of those patterns in the discourse are sociobiological
I published the essay I mentioned in the previous comment, which kind of gets at this ... I think misandry in feminist circles has its root in brain differences and development ...
https://thecassandracomplex.substack.com/p/the-androgynous-mind
Wow I will read this
Why do you mark the Reformation as a time when women began being mistreated? Were Catholics nicer? I hadn’t heard this expressed before and it caught my eye. Women in many cultures have labored under restrictions which to me seem oppressive (ex: Roman women had no personal names) but I’m told that it is a matter of perspective. So I am asking, because I don’t have perspective.
It's not that the Reformation was when women started being mistreated, but that misogyny became far worse in the West after the Reformation. During the "Dark Ages", women were treated a bit better. It changes all the time.
I get into some of the history a bit in this essay --
https://thecassandracomplex.substack.com/p/the-androgynous-mind
Typical woman. Won't take responsibility for what women do. Only cares about defending the image of women.
Common. Cheap.
I could give a flying fuck about women. Im my own self. You should get some help if that’s how you process life.
Also typical and cheap. Have you sought any help for your borderline pd traits?
Go have a wank
Fuck off, cunt.
A dime a dozen
I'm not that impressed by any of this discourse because it all seems to be on the same theme that careerism and sexual politics are the biggest problems with feminism, rather than some of the underlying premises of academic feminism that it's male critics don't even seem to want to challenge. Therefore there's this unrealistic conference that feminism will "self own".
Academic feminism only exists because men permitted women into academia. Modern feminism is doing a great job engendering enough bad blood that the response may eliminate it all the way to academic discourse. "it's better to be feared than loved, but important never to be hated". Feminism (and a lot of feminists) are hated. It'll take a few decades, but the response to feminist ideals could be a single-minded anti-female push across parts of the English-speaking world.
Maybe. The way many on the right has taken on the narratives of masculinity studies / 'masculinity crisis' feminism uncritically and doesn't seem to see through minor rebranding or compassionatw posturing worries me.
Many men lean to Right because the Democrats and feminist left have told them to piss off for the last thirty years. They funded women's health and ignored men's health. That's not "masculinity studies", that is standing up for equal rights for men.
"Permitted women"?
Jesus Christ.
I don't recall "The Great Gender War" where women took up arms against men and died by the thousand in the trenches, forcing an armistice and eventually securing equal rights. Do you? If you ask for something from the figures of authority and then are permitted to have it, the word "permit" is entirely appropriate.
It's telling that you think rights must be taken by force of arms.
That’s a great reply. I am interested in your comment regarding technology. The Industrial Revolution and then the sexual revolution created the conditions for feminism but the digital revolution allows women to settle back into their traditional roles. Good for you. It’s a right old hot mess now though and educated women are deeply attached to feminist tropes even as they acquiesce to the changes. I think it will take men stepping up and being the men they should be and insisting that women meet them in the middle. It’s fascinating to see how Trump and his team are mirroring how we should be in getting our houses in order. Such an interesting time to live. Feminism has been destructive but seeing us all re awaken to truth is exciting. ( hate the way the left commandeers language and dominates its meaning. The word gay comes to mind.)
Having a family is the best thing a woman can do for herself. Nothing like the word Mommy.
In my neighborhood, the garbage trucks take out the garbage early in the morning and unfortunately everyone’s garbage pail is still out there at night.
People don’t even get a chance to grab the garbage pail until the nighttime. Never mind getting to know their neighbors. That’s what happened when women stopped staying home. Civilization is crumbling because of this.
Women used to have coffee and get to know each other and the kids would get to know grown-ups they can trust right next-door. That’s how it was in my neighborhood and it was good for everyone.
Now nobody knows their neighbors because their neighbors are too busy . It’s very depressing.
Indulging my annoying habit of commenting while reading, so apologies in advance if the article goes on to make this comment silly
> Women’s empowerment became a trade of slaving away in for your family to slaving away for your boss in the corporate office.
This is hilarious to me, because anyone in 1950 could have seen this coming, if women bothered to ask their opinions. But women live in the lap of privilege and luxury, mistakenly believe that this is their natural entitlement, and scream about injustice whenever the constraints of reality harsh their buzz.
Only a woman could look at a career man in the 1960s, spending 10+ hours a day at the office, scraping by to _give her free money_, and say "wow, it's so unfair that I don't get to do that".
You know they pay you because you _don't_ want to do the work otherwise, right? Ass, Gas, or Grass, nobody rides for free. Well, except 1950s housewives, but apparently you'd rather be poor than bored
Feminists are a bunch of sickos. I knew from the time when I was born. I just wanted to be a mother and wife. The feminist ruined so much of peoples lives, It’s not even funny. I hate going out and competing with men. I don’t even like leaving my house. If I ever had the chance to never leave my house again, I would take it.
Feminism has driven me to unironically hate women. All women. Women collectively as a group as well as women on an individual level. In my entire life, there are only four women I have met who I didn't think were cruel, sadistic, and evil, and who weren't hostile to me.
Two are the exceptions that prove the rule.
One is very gay and you'd mistake her for a dude, so she doesn't count.
One is married, and I assume was insufferably evil until her husband fixed her
It makes me incredibly sad that I have come to this point in life but, well, I am not the one who decided we are locked in a zero sum game where the loser gets a lifetime of slavery and misery, but if those are the parameters, I have no intention of losing.
People tell me there's women who are decent human beings all over the place. Nobody has ever actually introduced me to one. They insist these people exist, but can't seem to point at one. Rly Makes U Think
Maybe it's you. Have you ever considered women don't like you because you're a bad person?
Women love me precisely because I'm an ethically questionable person. Ultimately women, and especially male feminists who behave like women, rarely have a good idea what women want.
That said, women aren't decent humans in the same sense that dogs aren't decent humans. The quality depends heavily on the quality of the trainer.
I think our ability to reach and influence young women with this piece is going to be hampered by the fact that you describe the female activities as “petty” in multiple places, while men are out doing the important stuff. I’m not a feminist to any conceivable degree, and even I found that distasteful. There are many things that women do that men admittedly find uninteresting or unimportant, which are not actually unimportant. Community building, local politicking, etc. is actually quite important in terms of building the reality and structure of our social lives. Men certainly are not going to do it, but we definitely are the benefactors of women’s activities in this space. I have been married for 30 years, and I can honestly say that w/o my wife’s “petty” community building activities I probably would not have any friend today. Our closest and dearest friends and social experiences have all been architected, developed and actioned by my wife. Our society, and we men in particularly, need to start emphasizing and valuing the domestic roles and activities of women far far far more than we do today if we want to turn things around.
A few things to respond to here. First of all, I see no need to 'reach' women as a demographic. Women will nearly universally default to the perceived cultural authority whatever that may be. It's been neoliberalism for 30 years, and it's been a disaster. The upcoming cultural authority will be far more patriarchal, and they'll default to that. Many of the forward-thinking women are already defaulting to that because they can smell which way the wind is blowing. "Reaching" is entirely unnecessary, simply being in a position of cultural dominance is more than sufficient.
I'm not about to be tone-policed by a boomer. Tone-policing is a highly feminine trait of a feminized society that's been used and abused by female-supremacy movements. I couldn't care if some one is offended. If you take issue with the substance, I'm happy to discuss it. This "oh, you can't say that because some one might feel upset" bullshit is what got us here in the first place. Total unapologetic cultural dominance is what's needed now. Women who get offended over hostile words aren't generally worth communicating with in the first place. The nuance of complex discussion is immediately lost when the opposition party responds with "but he said mean things that made my feelings feel sad". Why should we engage at all with those who begin by immediately attacking the tone of an argument over its substance? Calling them petty is itself a litmus test for if they're too psychologically fragile to hold a conversation. If they are, then I don't care what they have to say. No one cares. I have a whole article on that: https://alwaysthehorizon.substack.com/p/me-ne-frego
Finally, they are petty activities. Especially if they're activities performed without benefiting the community at-large. Petty drama via social-media apps is exactly what it sounds like: petty entertainment for them. There is no armistice between the genders right now, and trying to cater to single women is itself a losing battle... and if they engage in these activities which serve no purpose in the larger social ties of the body politic, they are petty. Right now, their actions may be described as petty because they exist in a vacuum: an environment of single member house holds, not married couples forming communities.
i think I hit a nerve. The only thing petty here is the public temper tantrum you just threw. The upside being that the whole world can see it for themselves.
Here’s a boomer piece of advice kid. speaking about nuance ( and you totally missed my feedback on your “substance”). Many times in life you can be right or you can be happy. don’t figure that one out too late. There are some areas in which you can’t be both.
I’ll leave you to think about that while you go back to eating your tate-tots.
^^^^^^^^^^^
I think this conversation if anything shows the stark difference between the Old White Males and the Young White Males in today’s society. OWM are so pussywhipped they won’t even dare calling something what it is at the risk of offending women. You’re entirely right in the sense that women are very fairweather and opportunistic creatures. Who cares about appealing to them it’s a shakey and loose foundation to base your support on them. The group you should look to appeal to are the YWM. The boomer doesn’t understand this as once people get past a certain age in America it seems the very idea of revolution or “Politics beyond the voting booth” become something completely out of mind.
"Its total destruction will likely take another century or two"
Or perhaps not so long: no generation is so invested in feminism as the Boomers, who as First Adopters of this so-called "radical philosophy", reaped most of the limited benefits without the myriad of costs. As the Boomers go boom, feminism loses its largest and often most vocal cohort of proponents.
I would note one thing. You place a certain amount of blame upon the creation of suburbs in destroying community - and I think that is a bit misplaced. Because there were churches and schools and shops even in the burbs. Working killed it - because it is hard to work full time and do all those things to the extent women may want.
High density living environments are not conducive to kids in US culture. Neighbors can be just as distant behind a condo door, or a townhouse, as in a suburban sprawl. Millennials were the first generation assumed to not want the suburbs. Until all of sudden they did the exact same thing their older boomer and Gen X brethren did. Moved to the burbs for some yard for the kids. I would expect gen Z will follow the exact same path, no matter how delayed it may become.
What is killing feminism is the fact that going to work full time is not glamorous, but viewed as necessary. No fault divorce with limited alimony makes it an imperative to be able to get into the workforce quickly if need be. But covid reminded women exactly how little they were actually getting for all that time spent away, often time to just give it to child care expense and more restaurant meals and taxes. That created a moment, which we are now having, along with new ways through technology to make a buck without tying oneself to an office for 40 hours a week.
If it was_only_ work, then the feminist movement would never have gotten started. Covid certainly accelerated this process, but I think it would have begun anyway. I do think that boredom and loneliness were the primary drivers of women leaving the home, not a need for income. A need for income arose only after the workforce doubled.
I would agree, that the mundane made women want to do more. But the feminist movement packaged it in a way to say lets just copy being men. And so women said sure. There would have been alternative ways to provide that desire to do "more", or there could have been an allowance for doing "more" in different ways. But that would have required the feminists to abandon their greater goal of societal upheaval. It was never about doing what was right by women, but was more about accumulating political power.
Besides entering into the workforce and immediately creating more money chasing of scarce resources, the movement lobbied for and gained popular acceptance for abortion availability at some point in gestation process, much to men's delight. (Men still favor abortion in slightly greater percentages than women do). The acceptance of no-fault divorce, and the hook up culture left women battle scarred and bitter.
Covid then ripped the mask off the joys and benefits of duel income full time working families. It stripped away one of women's most cherished things - the ability to care for your family and raise your children. I do think work was the thing whispered in women's ears. It's not fair you can't become a fireman, doctor, etc, so let's create a political movement about getting you those rights, and then give you the same sexual freedom men possess.
Emphasis on “sexual freedom” which denigrates responsibility or ownership. “Looking for Mr. Goodbar” has weirdly morphed into masking up and screaming. A lot of unhappy and angry women out there. Good luck at figuring your way out of that —- ever. Sadly.
Feminism is pure evil, and was from the beginning of mankind. OOps I mean personkind.
This is my first comment since setting up my substack account. Just wanted to say that I really appreciate a feminism-critical essay that doesn't devolve into mindless name-calling and finger-pointing. The reasons for feminism were many, and I agree it will go away as those reasons evaporate. My own problem with feminism, since I was old enough to be aware of it back in the 70s, is that it's not about "empowering women" or some such nonsense. It's about making women into men. Feminism is profoundly anti-feminine. Perhaps that is why it is so ugly. Perhaps it was also a foundational slab for transhumanism. Anyway really enjoyed this, thanks.
Welcome to substack! Happy you enjoyed the article!
I saw a Ted talk (I know) about feminism being the result of automatic washing machines. All of the sudden women had way too much time on their hands. Idle hands and all.
Nice article but a bit off the mark. Intersectional feminism drafted its own death warrant when it signed on with Marxist ideology then wrongly conflated men with capitalist exploitation. The next step was easy. Align with jihadism to destroy the patriarchy. Look around. The only cult that is expanding at an alarming rate is Islamic fundamentalism which is a zero-sum game for women. As always, men will do the hard lifting which includes peeling melted ourselves off the pavement. Love the comments that encourage the writer to subscribe to THEIR Substack. Totally pathetic.
Feminism has always acted as an intersectional entity. In order to claim that women are 'oppressed' it must require equity of outcome regardless of ability. It's self-evident that humans are sexually dimorphic so intersectionality grew out of the feminist need to deny reality despite all evidence. Islam is zero-sum, but the dogma of intersectionality exists to perpetuate itself at the expense of its adherents. This conclusion to feminist ideals was inevitable since its inception.
What happened in the latter half of the 20th century was the creation of a society so safety-conscious and so wealthy that they could afford to indulge the arrogant narcissisms of feminist women for a time... which occurred simultaneously with the deconstruction of meaningful social bonds; provisioning of an army of bored housewives.
Great response! Thanks!
We took something that could have been utopia and turned it plastic
We had all these lawns in suburbia, but why didnt we plant gardens? Why didnt we put up chicken coops? We had golf courses, but why didnt we instead create public ranches for sheep and goats? Why didnt we build orchards?
Our women had so much time, why disnt we encourage them to paint, to draw, to raise more children, to start businesses?
Instead we prided outselves on ridiculous vanities that meant nothing and accomplish less
Why didnt we take pride in the cooking of our women, in their ability to create clothing, to teach our kids, to use their amazing genius to make wonders?
No wonder they went insane.
Some boomers did try to do better. Most didn't. Unfortunately one must consider the most mediocre to be the normal outcome when performing cultural engineering. Especially in democratic polities.
Bring on its demise, I say!
I’ll believe feminists have integrity when they fight for and gain the right to be conscripted into the military and serve in 50% of all combat roles. Till then they want the benefits without the risks.
They did try to push it through in the 70s or 80s. Right wing women like Phylis Schlafly started a cohort to get rid of it.
That was 45 years ago, Theo. Lame excuse today.
I'm not that impressed with this thesis about feminism because there's too much confidence I see that people think feminism will "self-own", and that's a side effect of people's criticism of feminism being so focused on how it will effect women in terms of careerism sexual politics and blocking status from young men. I don't think that will happen and I already see some criticism of feminism unwittingly adopting some of the more pernicious narratives about men and male psychology from academic feminism, simply because it's rhetorically sophisticated and has a veneer of compassion.
Lots and lots of truth here. There is no question that increasing home chore automation played some role in all this.
The only feminist I run into now, are boomer ladies still holding onto to the idea that work is giving them freedom. Old millennials and Gen Xers that believe being a miserable girl boss is still the greatest achievement.
((The powers that be))........